Happiness
by isis-sg1
Summary: A storm has been brewing between Shawn and Henry for years, after it all comes to a head, it's up to Gus to put the pieces back together
1. Chapter 1

Thanks to GB for the beta job, also Littlefairy for helping me write this

Shawn crossed his arms and frowned stubbornly. He kept his eyes firmly on the road in front of him and muttered under his breath occasionally.

"You can stop that now," Henry said from the driver's seat, rolling his eyes at his son's theatrics. "Whining and moaning isn't going to get you out of this."

"But _why_ do I have to go?"

"It's the Future of Law Enforcement day at the station, and in the not too distant future, you will be in law enforcement," Henry reminded the fourteen year old. "Don't you want to know what it's going to be like?"

"Not really," Shawn mumbled as he slouched further into his seat.

"What was that?" Henry asked.

Shawn sighed. "Nothing," he replied.

"Is spending the day with your old man learning about what he does all day so bad? Huh?"

_Ah the infamous Henry Spencer guilt trip_ Shawn thought. "I had plans with Gus is all," Shawn replied quickly.

"And is spending time with Gus better than spending time with your old man?"

_My very old man _Shawn thought and hid a smirk. "When you say spending the day, do you mean the _whole_ day?" Shawn asked.

Henry shook his head. "I don't know why I bother," he muttered. He glanced at Shawn and then back at the road. "You'll be having so much fun you won't notice the time flying by, trust me."

"I'm sure it'll be a hoot," Shawn replied sarcastically.

Henry frowned. "Don't forget your manners when we get there Shawn. I want you treat all the officers with the respect they deserve."

"Yes sir."

"Don't forget your please and thank you's." Shawn rolled his eyes, he knew all this stuff already, his mom had drilled it in to him that morning. "And wipe that frown off your face, at least act like you're enjoying yourself," Henry added.

Shawn put on his fakest smile. "Better?" He asked through a toothy smile.

"Just don't embarrass me." Shawn's smile faded instantly. The pair stayed silent until the truck pulled into the police station parking lot. "Come on kid," Henry said before climbing out of the truck. Shawn sighed loudly before unbuckling himself and following his dad across the asphalt.

This wasn't his first time at the police station. He'd spent a fair amount of afternoons and weekends sitting at his dad's desk when there was no-one else to look after him. It was on these afternoons when he would sneak away and play poker with the cops, that was until his dad caught him in the act and made him donate all his hard earned winnings.

"Shawn, go put your jacket in my locker," Henry told his son.

Shawn nodded before walking through the police department to the locker room. The padlock on his dad's locker was easy to get through and Shawn made a mental note to tell his dad how obvious his badge number was as a code. He dropped his jacket on the bottom, knowing he'd get yelled at later when it came out creased but Shawn didn't care. He slammed the locker door shut before turning and walking back to his dad.

Henry put his hand on Shawn's shoulder and led him into the conference room where the first of the day's talks would be happening, a few parents stood round the edges of tbe room while the long table was being used by the other kids. Some looked about Shawn's age while there were a couple that were obviously older and one that looked so young to Shawn he wondered if the kid even knew where he was. Henry pushed Shawn in the only vacant chair before leaning over Shawn.

"Be good." He told his son before patting Shawn on the shoulder, standing up straight and leaving the room. Shawn didn't turn to watch his father leave. Instead he was already sizing up the other kids who were being subjected to this torture, although some most looked like they wanted to be here.

He eyed up the boy sitting opposite him who had a similar bored expression pasted onto his face. He crossed his eyes and stuck out his tongue and the boy laughed.

"Shawn." Shawn introduced himself

"Luke." The boy reciprocated with a smile. "Should be fun huh?" He added with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah, about as much fun as getting hit with a two by four…with little rusty nails sticking out of the end…. repeatedly."

Luke laughed and then turned to listen to the uniformed officer that had suddenly appeared at the head of the table. The parents standing around the edge of the room had ended their conversations and were now listening intently. Shawn didn't understand why everyone else's parents had stayed while his had escaped at the first chance he got. And his dad had told him they were going to spend the day together. He frowned and crossed his arms tightly across his chest, slumping further into the seat.

The officer clapped his hands together loudly. "Okay," he shouted. He stayed quiet until all conversation had tapered off. "My name is Officer Bill Meyers, but you…" He gave the kids a goofy grin and Shawn rolled his eyes "Can just call me Officer Bill."

"Welcome future police officers! Today we'll be giving you the grand tour of the station, you'll get to meet some more police officers, and I'll show you everything that happens around here. It's going to be so much fun!"

Shawn tilted his head to one side and studied the officer in front of him. He was fairly young and Shawn guessed still fairly new to the Santa Barbara Police Department seeing as how most of the more experienced officers were nowhere in sight. There was no wedding ring so Shawn came to the conclusion that the man's goofy grin scared the girls away, that and his hairstyle. The messy blonde hair looked like a gorilla had smooshed a banana on his head.

Shawn was so distracted by the idea of a large gorilla sitting on Officer Bill's head smooshing banana that it took him a moment to realise that everyone was leaving the room. He slid off the seat and his trainers landed on the wooden floor with a squeak. He waited until everyone else had left the room before trailing along behind. He stuffed his hands deep in his pockets and shuffled along.

"Officer Bill's a huge dork." Shawn looked up and smiled. Luke had turned around and was walking backwards. He was impressed, Shawn had tried walking backwards once and had tripped over a curb and scratched both elbows badly.

"The biggest dork," Shawn agreed.

"How old does he think we are? Five?"

Shawn looked around and realised the hallway was empty. The group had already turned the corner and Shawn realised this was his chance. He grabbed Luke's sleeve before he could go any further. Luke yanked his arm away.

"What was that for?" He asked.

"Come on, this is our chance," Shawn explained.

"Chance for what?"

"To escape!" Shawn said excitedly "No-one's around and who knows how long it'll take them to realise we're missing."

"Where would we go?"

Shawn grinned madly, he reached into his pocket and pulled out the contents, buried under a couple of buttons, a funny shaped rock, a piece of string and a toy he found in the cereal box that morning was a crumpled up five dollar bill. "There's a candy shop not too far from here."

Shawn watched as the indecision flickered through Luke's eyes. Stay and slowly die of boredom or escape the boredom and go get sweets, incurring the wrath of his father. "What are we waiting for?" Luke finally asked. Shawn's grin grew. The pair ran down the hallway, encountering no-one to ruin their plans. They crawled on their hands and knees under the reception desk and quickly made it out into the sunshine.

"It's like a five minute walk down that way," Shawn said, pointing down the main road.

"My dad is going to kill me," Luke said as they set off in the right direction.

"Mine too," Shawn replied. "But I've got used to it," he added with a shrug.

"What's he like?" Luke asked.

Shawn shrugged. "Grumpy," he answered. "I can never do anything right," he added with a sigh. "I think he's more interested in me becoming what he wants me to be than in what I want." Shawn kicked at a rock and it went skidding down the sidewalk, landing in a bush.

"What do you wanna be then?"

"I don't know yet," Shawn answered honestly. "But I do know then when I'm old enough? I'm getting a motorcycle!" Shawn said excitedly.

Luke's eyes widened "Cool!"

Shawn grinned, "Come on, race ya!" He sped off down the pavement, he heard Luke cry out in shock before he felt Luke running behind him, trying to catch up.

They burst through the door to the candy shop and practically fell on the floor as they caught their breath. The woman behind the counter rolled her eyes at them and the pair laughed loudly. Finally Shawn pulled himself to his feet and helped Luke up.

"I so won," Shawn said.

"Did not, I got in the door first, that's why you fell on me."

Shawn shrugged, "Guess we'll never know who won." Luke gave him a look but said nothing.

Spending five dollars in a candy shop was not a big task for the two boys. It didn't even take ten minutes for them to leave the shop again, each equipped with enough candy bars and gum to sustain them through the rest of this morning. Munching, they slowly made their way back to the police station.

"So what do we do now?" Luke asked from between a mouthful of chocolate and peanut butter.

"I don't know," Shawn admitted. "But if we're lucky Officer Bill is finished with all the boring stuff by now and nobody will even notice that we left."

Luke thought about that for a moment, then he nodded. "How cool would that be? We sneak off and sneak back, and Officer dork won't even notice."

Shawn grinned. "And we got chocolate."

"Yeah. What do you think where they are now?"

Shawn shrugged. "My guess is that they're done with the tour around the station. That's always the first thing they do."

"How do you know?" Luke frowned.

"Today isn't the first time my Dad dragged me to that stupid Future of Law Enforcement Day. Believe me, it's always the same. First they give you the tour of the station, then they take you to the holding cells and show the kids what it feels like to be locked up. Then comes the fingerprinting, a lunch break, and after that you can take turns sitting in a police car, where the little kids get totally excited if they turn on the siren. Officer dork talks a little more about what a great job it is to be a cop, and then you can go home again. It's boring. But the tour is always the most boring part because they expect you to pay good attention. If we go back now, it should be all right."

A few minutes later they reached the police station. They made their way back in the same way they had come out – on their hands and knees under the reception desk. The officer on desk duty never noticed them, he was on the phone and didn't even look up as they straightened up again and went down the corridor.

"The holding cells are down that way. Come on!"

With a grin Shawn started running down the corridor. Luke started running after him. "This time I'll beat you" he replied with a grin.

The corridor was empty, and Shawn started running as fast as he could towards its end. He skidded around the corner and ran straight into something solid.

Someone solid.

"I'm sorry…" Shawn began, but then he looked up and the words died on his tongue.

"Shawn?"

"Dad," Shawn swallowed as he looked up at his father. Henry looked down at him with a frown on his face, and as Luke came hurrying around the corner behind Shawn, the frown darkened into a scowl.

"Shawn, what are you two doing here? Why aren't you doing the tour with Officer Myers?"

Shawn nervously jammed his hands into his pockets, also to cover up the obvious bulk of sweets in them.

"Erm…we went to the bathroom?"

"Bathroom's that way," Henry said and pointed in the opposite direction. "So how about you try that again. The truth this time."

"We got lost?"

The expression on Henry's face told Shawn clearly that it had been the wrong choice of words. His father's anger was getting more and more obvious now, and if he couldn't come up with a good excuse pretty quickly, he was screwed.

"Listen Dad, I know what this looks like…"

"You're damn right about that. And I think this is exactly what it looks like." Henry turned towards Luke. "What's your name?"

Luke gulped. "Luke. Luke Wilkerson, sir."

Henry nodded. "Officer Myers and the others are in the holding cells. Down that corridor, and then down the stairs. Go finish the tour with the others, I'll have a word with your parents about this when they come to get you later."

Luke nodded, then with a last look at Shawn he hurried down the corridor towards the stairs. Henry turned back towards Shawn.

"Come with me." And as if he wasn't entirely sure whether Shawn would follow his command, Henry took Shawn by the arm and walked him down into the other direction. Only when they rounded another corner did Shawn realise where they were going. The locker room.

At this time of day, the locker room was empty, and after he non-too gently led Shawn into the room, Henry closed the door behind them. He gestured for Shawn to sit down on one of the benches and stood in front of him, arms crossed in front of his chest.

"Well?"

"Well what?" Shawn did his best to look innocent.

Henry's expression darkened. "I thought maybe you'd at least try to explain this to me. What were you and that boy doing away up here in the corridor when you were supposed to be down in the holding cells? And don't give me any of that 'I got lost' crap, Shawn."

"We got bored."

"You got bored? You got bored, and you thought it was a good idea to start roaming a police station all on your own?"

Shawn rolled his eyes. "It's a police station, Dad. It's not as if it was dangerous here."

"There are criminals in this police station. You know very well that you are not supposed to walk around here without an adult. So where were you and that Luke going when you ran into me?"

"We were going to find the others again."

Henry's eyes narrowed. "Don't start playing games with me, Shawn. You are in no position to be cracking jokes. Where did you come from?"

"I told you. We were just having a look around on our own."

There was no way Shawn would tell his father that he and Luke had left the police station. He'd get grounded till doomsday if his father found out about that. But it seemed that his father knew him too well.

"Empty your pockets."

Shawn's eyes widened. "What?"

"You heard me. Empty your pockets. Now."

There was no escaping that tone of voice, Shawn knew that. With a sigh, he got up from the bench and started to pull the chewing gum and candy bars out of his pockets. He didn't dare to look into his father's face as he put them on the bench in front of him.

"Where do those come from?"

Henry's voice was dangerously tight and controlled, the way it was only moments before an explosion.

"The candy shop," Shawn mumbled.

"You went to the candy shop? The candy shop down the street? You left the police station when you were supposed to be staying for the career day?"

"Dad, it was boring. I've heard it all a million times before…"

"You promised, Shawn! You promised you'd behave yourself. Your Mom told you to behave yourself, I told you to behave yourself, I ask you not to embarrass me, and what do you do? You sneak away not even half an hour into the day! And for what? For candy! How old are you Shawn, five?"

"_Officer Bill_ certainly seemed to think so."

"Shawn!" Henry was yelling now, and it didn't seem as if he was about to stop soon. "What did I tell you about treating the Officers you meet with respect? Is it so hard? All I was asking for was that you behave for one day. One day, Shawn! Why can't you even do that? This Future of Law Enforcement Day is important for your future. What kind of an impression do you think it leaves if you run away at the first chance you get?"

"I don't care!"

"What?" Henry's face darkened and he took a step closer, so that he was towering above Shawn. But Shawn was too angry to back down now.

"I don't care! I don't care about this stupid Future of Law Enforcement day, and I don't care about what impression the other officers get! I never wanted to come here in the first place, I had plans with Gus!"

"You might tell yourself that you don't care right now. You might think that hanging out with Gus would be more fun, but let me tell you one thing, kid. One day, when you graduated from the Academy, you'll start your duty as a police officer here. And believe me that you don't want the other officers to remember you as the kid who snuck off during the tour because he was bored."

"But that's just it!" Shawn stomped his foot to the floor. "I don't want to graduate from the stupid Academy. I don't want to become a cop!"

A puzzled frown settled on Henry's face, but his eyes were narrowing dangerously. "You don't know what you're talking about, Shawn. Of course you will follow the family tradition and become a cop. I taught you everything you need to know."

"But I don't want to!" Shawn was yelling now, too. Normally he knew that yelling at his father was a free ticket for even more trouble, but right now he didn't care. "You don't know what you're talking about! You always drag me to those stupid career days here at the station, you teach me all your stupid lessons, but you never asked me if I wanted this."

"Of course you want to. What's so wrong about being a cop? What could possibly be wrong about being an officer of the law, about helping people?"

"Nothing. But it's not what I want to do."

"Oh yes?" Henry shook his head. "So you don't want to help people, is that what you're trying to tell me? You don't want to become somebody who is respected for what he does?"

"I don't want to become _you_!" Something flickered across his father's face at those words, but Shawn was too worked up to notice. It was as if something that had been coiled up inside of him for far too long was finally unwinding.

"I don't want to become a cop, but you never even asked me. All you ever did was drill your lessons into me. _How many hats, Shawn? Close your eyes, Shawn._ I'm sick of it. You never asked me if I even wanted it, you never asked me if I want to become a cop. You never cared about me, only about making me what you want me to be!"

"I will not be talked to in that tone, Shawn! You don't know what you're talking about!"

"Yes, I do!" Shawn felt something prickling behind his eyelids, and he was worried that he'd start crying. He couldn't help it, but he knew exactly how his father reacted to tears. They were a sign of weakness. Boys didn't cry. They sucked it up. But he just couldn't help it right now.

"It's you who doesn't know what he's talking about. You never asked me what I want. You always just assume that I want to be like you, but I don't. I don't want to be a cop!"

"Oh no? Then please tell me what it is you want to be. What job could possibly be so much better than this?"

"I don't know."

Henry gave a humourless bark of laughter. "Of course you don't. What else was I expecting?"

"I'm fourteen. I don't need to know yet! But I'm old enough to know what I don't want. And that's being a cop. You can't make me, Dad. You can't make me something that I'm not. I won't let you."

"_You_ won't let me? Careful kid, you're treading on dangerous ground here. I am your father, and for as long as you live under my roof, you will not talk to me in that tone! Trust me that I know what's best for you."

"No you don't!" Shawn didn't like how shaky his voice sounded. He knew that it wouldn't take much more to bring the first tears to his eyes, but he just couldn't stop himself.

"You know what's best for you, but you don't care one thing about me. If you did, you would know that I don't want to be a cop. I never did. It was always you who wanted to be that. You don't give a damn about what I want, and you don't care about whether or not I am happy with what you're making me do. It's always just about what you want!"

"I will not listen to this for any longer!" Henry leaned forward so that his face was only inches away from Shawn's. "You tell me that I don't care about what you want, but you have no idea what you want in the first place. I won't stand for you starting some sort of teenage rebellion here and embarrass me in front of my colleagues just because you didn't get to spend your day with Gus!"

"That's not what…"

Henry thrust a finger right under Shawn's nose. "Stop it. I don't want to hear another word from you. I'm disappointed, Shawn. You broke your promise to behave yourself, you made me the laughing stock of the entire police station with the little stunt you pulled, and now you're trying to twist things so that I'm suddenly at fault for your disobedience. I won't stand for that, Shawn. It's about time you sucked it up and admitted that you made a mistake."

Henry drew himself up so that he was towering above Shawn again and glared down at him. "You're grounded for the foreseeable future, Shawn. Hopefully that will make you reconsider the tone you use when talking to your father. And you're going to stay right here until I'm off shift. You will not leave this room, are we clear on that?"

Shawn just stared at his father, his breathing fast and hitching slightly. He couldn't believe that his father just went over his admittance that he was unhappy like that. Did he truly care so little?

"I asked whether we are clear on that?"

Shawn quickly nodded. "Yes, sir."

Henry nodded. "Good. Stay here, and don't get in any trouble. If I hear just one more thing about you or from you for the rest of the day, you're not going to leave the house again until you're eighteen."

Shawn nodded, and without another word Henry turned around and left the locker room. Shawn stared after him for a moment, then he sank back down onto the bench behind him and drew his knees up to his chest.

Now, with his father gone, his control was wavering and he felt the tears prickling in his eyes.

He had finally done it. He had told his father that he didn't want to be a cop. He had told him that it didn't make him happy. And what did his father do? He just ignored it. He ignored the fact that none of this made Shawn happy, that it wasn't what he wanted to spend the rest of his life doing.

He should have known.

But somehow, deep down, he had hoped that it wasn't so.

But he should have known.

His father didn't care one thing about him, or his happiness. All he cared about was that his son would become a worthy successor, not an embarrassment or a disappointment. But it seemed that this was exactly what Shawn was.

An embarrassment.

A disappointment.

Someone who couldn't live up to Henry Spencer's standard because he cared more about being happy than about making his father proud.

Tears were a sign of weakness. Boys didn't cry, they sucked it up. But in the solitude of the empty locker room, Shawn pressed his face against his knees and allowed the tears to fall.


	2. Chapter 2

Shawn crossed his arms and frowned stubbornly. He kept his eyes firmly on the road in front of him and muttered under his breath occasionally.

"You can stop that now," Henry said from the driver's seat, rolling his eyes at his son's theatrics "Whining and moaning isn't going to get you out of this."

"But _why_ do I have to go?"

"It's a reunion of all my old cop buddies," Henry reminded the twenty nine year old. "Don't you want to meet them?"

"Not really" Shawn mumbled as he slouched further into his seat.

"What was that?" Henry asked.

Shawn sighed. "Nothing," he replied.

"Is spending the day with your old man and his friends so bad? Huh?"

"I'm getting some serious flashbacks here," Shawn replied, ignoring his dad's question.

"What?"

Shawn sighed, "Nothing Dad."

Henry frowned. "Don't forget your manners when we get there Shawn, I want you treat all the officers with the respect they deserve."

"Yes Dad."

"Don't forget your please and thank you's." Shawn rolled his eyes. "And wipe that frown off your face, at least act like you're enjoying yourself," Henry added.

Shawn put on his fakest smile. "Better?" He asked through a toothy smile.

"Just don't embarrass me." Shawn gritted his teeth at the comment but said nothing The pair stayed silent until the truck pulled into the police station parking lot. "Come on kid," Henry spoke before climbing out of the truck. Shawn sighed loudly before unbuckling himself and following his dad across the asphalt towards the social club.

He stopped in the doorway and took in the room. His dad had already began greeting old friends, a rare smile on his face as he slapped a guy on the back while simultaneously shaking another man's hand. Most of the men in the room were Henry's age or older, and Shawn swore he had more hair on his head than all of them combined. Several guys his age and a few younger were mingling, all seeming perfectly happy to be listening to what it was like in the _good ol' days. _It was obvious to Shawn that they were all cops and he suddenly felt like the odd one out.

"Shawn, are you going to stand in the doorway all day?" Shawn looked up at his father.

"Huh?"

"Get over here kid." Shawn made his way over to Henry. "Shawn, you remember Jack Pope, don't you?"

"Of course," Shawn plastered on a grin. "Worked at the Precinct from '89 to '93 before moving to Dallas. You were partnered up with Harkness." _And I used to kick your ass at poker_ Shawn added silently.

Jack chuckled, "Still as sharp as ever I see."

"How've you been Sir?" _See? He could be polite._

"Not bad kid, retired a couple of years ago, what about you? Enjoying the force?"

Shawn frowned, "I um-"

"Shawn's not a cop," Henry answered for him.

"What?" Jack asked in shock, "I thought for sure you were going to follow in your father's footsteps."

"So was I," Henry said under his breath, just loud enough for Shawn to hear.

"Just wasn't for me," Shawn answered.

Jack snorted, "That's ridiculous, you were born to be a cop, and just because I was in Dallas didn't mean I didn't hear about you passing the detectives exam at fifteen."

Shawn gritted his teeth as a couple of the younger cops turned towards them. "We couldn't help but over hear," one of them said.

"Did you really pass the detectives exam at fifteen?" Another asked.

Jack dropped a hand down on Shawn's shoulder, "Passed with 100 as I heard it."

"It's really no big deal," Shawn answered with a shrug

"Which precinct are you with?" The first guy asked.

"I'm not.."

"Shawn's not a cop," Henry repeated.

"Shame, sounds like we could use you."

_You do use me! Shawn's mind screamed I've solved every single goddamn case thrown at me without breaking a sweat! _

He looked up at meet his dad's eyes and he knew Henry knew exactly what he was thinking. Henry raised an eyebrow that said _don't even think about embarrassing me with the psychic crap_

"So what are you doing with yourself Shawn?" Jack asked.

He tore his eyes away from his father's."Oh, you know, this and that, just taking it easy."

Jack nodded in understanding although Shawn knew he had no idea what Shawn was talking about.

"If you'll excuse me," Shawn said, eyeing up the bar at the bar of the room. ( I thought they were in the police station. I don't think there would be a bar at the police station.) He brushed past the group and manoeuvred through the groups of people until he reached he bar. He sagged down onto a stool and leant heavily on the wood. The bartender looked at him expectantly. "Beer." The barman nodded and a second later a bottle was placed in front of Shawn.

Shawn took the bottle and took a couple of big gulps, feeling a lot better as the alcohol entered his system. He pulled his phone from his pocket and texted Gus - _save me._

A minute later a beeping signalled Gus' reply - _Not a chance, suck it up._

"Some friend you are," Shawn mumbled as he shoved the phone back in his pocket. He glanced over to where he'd left his father and watched as he laughed at something Jack had said. _Shawn's not a cop. _ It looked like Shawn had been forgotten about already, his father was too busy regaling old stories of life on the Santa Barbara streets, the young cops listening intently.

Shawn rolled his eyes, he'd heard the stories a hundred times before, most of them as bedtime stories as a kid. The more violent ones had been saved until Henry had decided to scare him out of ever drink driving. He must have been the only kid whose movie nights consisted of _America's Bloody Highways_ and _Drinking and Driving: The End of the Road_

He took another gulp of his beer. Coming had been a mistake, he'd only arrived fifteen minutes ago and he was already wishing he was anywhere else, even locked in an interrogation room with Lassie sounded better. Shawn raised an eyebrow at the crowd in front of him. More than one person was glancing in his direction and Shawn guessed his non-cop status was interesting gossip.

He could practically hear them. _He's not a cop? What's he doing here? _Shawn hadn't felt this out of place since the time he decided to join Gus at biology club. That was number 6 on his ten biggest mistakes. Today was moving up the list fairly rapidly. _Shawn's not a cop. _Shawn lifted the beer bottle to his lips and down the rest of the bottle. Time to make a stealthy exit. He pulled out the right amount of money and slid it across the bar before sliding off the stool. He glanced over in Henry's direction to make sure he was still distracted before scanning for another exit. He grinned as he spotted a door on his right. He moved quickly towards the door and slid out the exit with barely a sound.

He stepped out into a small courtyard and sucked in a deep breath, the smell of old spice and old men too much for his poor nose. He could still hear the chatter from inside the building as he began to walk away.

He didn't know how long he'd been walking but when he stopped and realized he was standing outside the psych office he realized it had probably been a while. The blue car in the corner of his eye told Shawn that Gus was definitely around. He stepped up to the building and burst through the front door.

Gus looked up from his laptop and frowned, "I thought you were at that thing with your dad?"

Shawn nodded. "I was. I left," he answered as he dropped down into his chair.

"You just left?"

"Yup." Shawn's hand reached out for his squeezy frog from its home on Shawn's desk.

"Does you dad know you left?"

Shawn glanced at the clock on the wall. "I'm sure he does by now." Gus glanced at Shawn with a worried look. He could sense a Spencer argument a mile off and this one had been brewing for a while. Shawn rolled his eyes at his friend, he opened his mouth to speak but the office door flinging open and banging against the wall stopped him.

Shawn looked towards the door as an angry looking Henry stepped into the room. His face was dark and his whole body was tense with angry, his hands pulled into tight fists.

"Gus, I need a moment with my son," Henry spoke.

Gus gulped audibly. "Sure." He pushed his laptop shut and grabbed his wallet and keys before making a swift exit.

"What's wrong Dad?"

Henry looked at his son incredulously "What's wrong?" He repeated. "What's wrong? You embarrassed me in front of all my friends, that's what's wrong," Henry's voice rose until he was shouting. "Do you know what it's like to feel so stupid searching the crowd for a son that couldn't even be bothered to stay for fifteen minutes! I asked one thing from you Shawn and you couldn't even do that!"

"Dad…"

"No Shawn, it's my turn to speak," Henry quickly cut off his son. "What's wrong with you? Do you hate my profession so much that you can't even stand to be in a room with them? Today was important to me and you ruined it, why would you so such a thing"

Shawn launched up from his seat into Henry's personal space. "You wanna know why?" Shawn asked. "Shawn's not a cop, Shawn's not a cop, Shawn's not a goddamn cop. Did you invite me just to throw it in my face? Telling me how much of a disappointment I am wasn't good enough for you? Was this just some sick game to make me feel like crap Dad? Cos it worked."

"That's what you think this is? A sick game?"

Shawn ignored the question. "It's never going to stop is it? The digs and the comments and the looks." He shook his head, "What do I have to do Dad? What do I have to do?"

"Become a cop!" Henry shouted before he could stop himself.

Shawn took a step back."Wow" His eyes fell to the floor. "You know I thought that if I tried hard enough, I could get you to see me for what I am, not what you thought I should have been. I have tried…" Shawn pushed the lump in his throat away. "…So hard."

Henry snorted, "You've never put effort into anything in your entire life. It's always the easy way out with you."

"You have no idea what it's like, no idea whatsoever what it's like to be me. To see everything, to _remember everything…_" He closed his eyes before continuing. "_I'm disappointed, Shawn. You broke your promise to behave yourself, you made me the laughing stock of the entire police station with the little stunt you pulled, and now you're trying to twist things so that I'm suddenly at fault for your disobedience. I won't stand for that, Shawn. It's about time you sucked it up and admitted that you made a mistake." _He repeated word for word. It was a conversation that had stuck with him for years, unable to get his father's words out of his head no matter how many times he tried.

"Every word dad, I remember every word you said that day……bet you don't remember a single thing I said, do you?"

"Shawn-"

"I just wanted to be happy, I was _fourteen _Dad! But you never gave me the chance, never. I wanted to be_ me,_ not a copy of _you_. But what I wanted never mattered to you…and it seems nothings changed. I just want to be happy Dad, and I'm happy here. I'm happy with what I'm doing. And then you come along and suddenly I'm that fourteen year old again, crying in the locker room. Difference now is that I don't have to put up with it any longer," Shawn brushed past Henry. "Don't call me, just….just leave me alone," he said, a sleeve wiping away the wetness at his eyes as he disappeared out the door.


	3. Chapter 3

"Can you believe him?" Shawn asked as he paced up and down the office.

Gus rolled his eyes. "Unbelievable," he said wearily.

Shawn turned to Gus, "Exactly! Can you believe him?"

Gus lifted his head from his hand. "I was talking about you."

Shawn stepped back and frowned at his friend. "Me?"

"You have been talking about this non-stop for the past four days."

"I have not," Shawn denied quickly

"Have too."

"Have not."

"Have-," Gus stopped himself before he was sucked into one of Shawn's games. "Look I get you're upset or mad or whatever but we have work to do. Either sit down and shut up or go talk to him."

Shawn dropped down into his chair, folded his arms and glared at Gus like a petulant child. "I told you Gus, I'm never speaking to that man again."

Gus snorted, "Yeah right."

"And what is that supposed to mean?" Shawn asked.

"It means that every time you and your dad fight, you complain about him for a week and then you're back having dinner at his house the week after, like nothing's happened…well until the next fight that is."

"I don't-" Shawn began to deny it. He sighed and stared down at his desk. "It's different this time Gus...I don't think I can forgive him so easily….not this time."

"Shawn…" Gus started

Shawn looked up at Gus with a bright smile. "You're right, gotta stop thinking about it, got to move on and get some work done."

Gus sighed, knowing it wasn't going to be that easy. "Okay."

"I'm thirsty, you wanna smoothie?" Shawn jumped out from his seat and was already striding towards the door when Gus called out to him.

"But what about!..." Shawn disappeared out the door "–work?" Gus finished to an empty room.

When another week went by and Shawn still hadn't spoken to Henry, had barely mentioned his name, Gus started to worry. The last time they had fought like this Shawn had left Santa Barbara for over a year and only returned because Gus told him Henry had gone to Miami. He was in un-chartered territory and didn't know which way to turn.

Bumping into Henry while they were at the supermarket stocking up on pineapple didn't help matters. Gus looked up and his eyes widened as he realized who was standing in front of him. He opened his mouth to speak but Henry got there a second before him.

"I don't want to talk about it, Gus." Henry pre-empted any kind of discussion.

"Gus, got the…" Shawn suddenly appeared with the pineapple in his hand. He stopped when he saw Henry and Gus watched as his face darkened. The father and son glared at each other for a moment then before Gus could blink, the pair had turned and walked in opposite directions without a single word.

"Well, that went well," Gus said to himself before following his friend who had disappeared into the chocolate and candy aisle. He rubbed his hands together as he watched Shawn pile a load of gummie worms into his shopping basket. "Okay, time to get out the big guns."

The shopping basket was thrust in his direction. "You're paying for these," Shawn told him before walking off. Gus gritted his teeth. "Very big guns…..with bullets, big, fat, painful lead bullets."

Gus took in a deep breath and knocked hard on the door. He waited nervously on the porch until a figure came into view and the door swung open.

Henry sighed. "I told you I didn't want to talk, Gus," Henry told him but took a step back to let Gus into the house.

Gus entered the house and then stopped suddenly, realizing that in the twenty five odd years he'd known Shawn, he hadn't actually stood in this house without Shawn nearby. "Well one of you should start, and I think it should be you," Gus replied bravely.

Henry took a step towards Gus "Are you blaming all this on me?" He asked and Gus took a step back. Okay, so he was slightly terrified of Henry, always had been.

"No…no," Gus shook his head. "I didn't mean that," ee said, quickly trying to dig himself out of the hole he dug.

"Shawn is the one that walked out something that was important to me, who didn't care enough for stay than more than fifteen minutes. He embarrassed me in front of all my friends."

"Oh and being constantly reminded that he wasn't good enough isn't embarrassing? How'd you think he felt as everyone reminded him how he didn't fit in there?" Gus said, realizing a little too late what he had just blurted out.

"And you think you do?"

"I know Shawn a sight bit better than you, Mr. Spencer. I know you think you know him, but you don't." Gus sighed and shook his head. "You know if he didn't have Psych, he'd be on his bike and outta here faster than you can say pineapple smoothie. Do you realize that? You've lost your son, and if you weren't so damn stubborn, you could actually do something about it."

"I think it's time that you leave," Henry growled.

"Yeah, I guess it is," Gus said, feeling the defeat wash over him as he walked to the door. Talking to Henry had failed spectacularly and he expected his talk with Shawn wasn't going to go any better.

Gus climbed into his car and instantly pulled out his cell phone. Better to get the talk with Shawn out of the way as soon as possible. He dialed Shawn's cell and waited for an answer.

"Yo," Shawn answered.

"Hey it's me, where are you?"

"At your place drinking your coffee, why?"

Gus gritted his teeth, Shawn had no sense of personal space, and that included Gus' apartment then Shawn broke into on a regular basis. "Stay there, we need to talk." Gus hung up the phone before Shawn could reply and pulled out of Henry's driveway.

The traffic was light enough that he managed to get back to his place in under ten minutes. The black motorbike sitting by his parking space told Gus that Shawn had listened to him and stayed put. He quickly made his way from the parking lot and up to the second floor. He let himself in and was instantly assaulted by the sounds of automatic gun fire and explosions coming from the TV.

"Hey!" Shawn called from the other room, his voice garbled from a mouth full of chips. "Where've you been?"

"Your father's," Gus answered as he switched off the TV.

Shawn's feet dropped from the coffee table as he sat up straight. "What were you doing at my father's place, Gus?"

"Trying to knock some sense into him."

Shawn snorted. "Good luck with that."

"I was hoping I'd have a better chance with you."

"Me?"

"One of you has to make the first move, and if it isn't him, then it has to be you."

Shawn pulled himself up until he was standing. "What makes you think either one of us wants this fixed Gus? What gives you the right to start meddling!"

"I…"

"I told you Gus, I told you it was over between us. I never want to see that man again. Why can't you just understand that?"

"Because it's bull!" Gus snapped and Shawn's jaw snapped shut in surprise "He is your father and you are his son and whether you like it or not,that's not going to change. I'm not going to just stand here and watch as your relationship falls apart when I can do something about it. You can't tell me that he means nothing to you. You can't tell me that it's easy to just let him go, wash your hands of him 'cause it isn't. What happens the next time you're stuck on a case? You can't go running to him for answers. And what happens if his back goes in the middle of the night? He has no-one to help him. You are all he has."

"So you think you can just guilt me into talking to him?"

"Shawn!"

"No!" Shawn snapped back. "For the first time in my life, I don't have him watching over me, pointing out my mistakes, telling me that I could have done better Things couldn't keep going on the way they were. I couldn't go on like that. Why can't you understand that?"

Gus sighed. "I'm not going to stop trying to fix this," he said as he began walking back to the door, realizing it really should be Shawn leaving his place, not the other way round. "You're going to thank me one day."

"Not any day soon," Shawn replied as the door slammed shut.

Gus didn't know how he ended up in the bar and the memories of the day were getting foggier after every drink. He'd never been a big drinker but after two unsuccessful conversations with the two most stubborn men in the history of stubbornness he needed to relax. He stared at the drink in front of him while he folded his napkin into some indistinguishable origami shape.

Suddenly a figure knocked into him from behind, pushing him into the bar and nearly knocking over his drink.

"Oh god I'm so-" The person started as they turned round to apologize. She stopped when she realized who it was. "Gus?"

"Juliet?" Gus looked at the detective in surprise. She was in a smart black top and figure hugging jeans, a pair of stilettos that Gus guessed were killing her feet, a clutch purse in one hand and a half finished vodka martini in the other. "What are you doing here?"

She sat herself down in the spare chair and put her drink down on the bar next to Gus' "Well," she sighed, brushing a strand of stray hair out of her face. "I was on a date."

"Oh," Gus scanned the room for the so called date.

"He's gone," she told him, taking a sip of her drink. "It wasn't going to work out."

"No?"

"He kept calling me sweetie, and honey, and staring at my ass. If I was armed, I'd have some explaining to do."

"Sorry."

She shrugged. "What about you? Why are you here?"

"Trying to forget the day?" Gus replied.

"Ouch, bad day?"

Gus snorted. "That's an understatement."

Juliet tilted her head to one side and smiled sympathetically. "Wanna talk about it?"

"Shawn and Henry aren't speaking to each other and my attempts to get them talking again ended in disaster."

"What happened?"

Gus shrugged. "Shawn ditched something that was important to Henry. But I think this argument has been brewing since Shawn was fourteen, they have a lot of…"

"Issues?" Juliet guessed.

Gus nodded. "I've tried talking to them both separately, but neither of them want to hear it. I don't know how to fix this."

Juliet grinned. "I think I do."

Gus' eyes narrowed "What are you thinking?"

Juliet just smiled deviously.


	4. Chapter 4

Shawn almost skipped into the police station. It had been a while since anyone from the station had asked for his help and he was glad for the distraction. Not only was he not speaking to his dad ever again but now his best friend seemed more than a little angry with him. Sitting in the psych office talking to an empty chair was not nearly as fun as annoying said chair's owner.

"Jules!" Shawn jumped out from behind a pillar and Juliet jumped in her seat.

Her head snapped up. "You almost gave me a heart attack!"

Shawn grinned unapologetically "You need a little excitement in your life Jules"

She tilted her head to one side and raised an eyebrow "I carry a gun and chase criminals for a living, how much more excitement do you think I need?"

Shawn shrugged and perched on the corner of her desk. "What do ya need?" He asked, getting to reason he was called in in the first place.

"We've got a guy in interrogation we think is involved in smuggling antiquities" Juliet rose from her chair "Thing is he's not talking, not even Lassiter can get anything out of the man"

"You want me to see if I can get anything off the guy? You know psych vibrations?"

"Anything to help us where he's keeping all the goods, we need this wrapped up quickly I've got a pile a mile high of other cases"

Shawn clapped his hands "No problemo"

Juliet grinned "He's in interrogation room A"

Shawn jumped off the desk and started towards interrogation. He stopped suddenly and spun round "Hey Jules? What's this guy's name?"

Juliet's eye's widened "Err…

"Don't tell me you forgot his name Jules"

"I didn't forget…it's Stan err, Stan Francisco?"

Shawn frowned "Stan Francisco?"

Juliet nodded "Weird I know"

Shawn just shrugged, turning back around and leaving.

"Stan Francisco?" Gus asked incredulously as he appeared from his hiding place

"What?" Gus raised an eyebrow "You can name the fake guy next time"

Gus shook his head and then looked down at his watch "Okay, I'll follow, Shawn, he's gonna work out pretty quickly something's up when he finds an empty room. You wait for Henry" Juliet nodded.

Gus went after his best friend and watched as he entered the interrogation room. As soon as Shawn had stepped inside the room Gus rushed forward and slammed the door shut, locking it quickly.

"Hey!" Shawn shouted through the door "What's going on?" Gus winced as Shawn started out bang on the door "Let me outta here!"

"This better work" Gus said to himself as he slipped into the observation room to watch his best friend try and escape.

"What's this about detective?" Henry asked as he was lead into the police station.

Juliet smiled politely "A couple of boxes of old case files got mixed up and now he can't make heads or tails of the paperwork. I saw your name on some of the files and thought you could help us sort it all out"

Henry shrugged "Anything I can do to help the police"

"And we definitely appreciate it" Juliet replied with a grin "Unfortunately it's a little but busy out here, we've set you up in one of the interrogation rooms, it's nice and quite in there"

Henry nodded "Sure"

"Just shout if you need anything" Juliet said before opening the door and practically pushing Henry inside before slamming the door shut and re-locking it.

Henry stumbled into the room and managed to catch his balance before looking up. "What?" He asked as he saw an extremely annoyed Shawn sitting at the table.

Shawn rolled his eyes "Great" He mumbled under his breath.

Juliet joined Gus in the interrogation room "You really think this is going to work?" Gus asked her.

"Well, they're not leaving that room till they're talking again"

"Or they kill each other" Gus reminded her. "Hey Juliet?"

"Yeah?"

"You guys have a witness protection programme?"

"Why?"

"I think I'm gonna need it when those two get out" He replied.

"What the hell is going on?" Henry demanded

"Looks like Gus got tired and has finally snapped" Shawn pushed his chair back from the table and stood up. He walked around the table and faced the mirror. "I know you're in there Gus!" He shouted "Let me outta here right now!"

"What did you do?"

Shawn spun round to face his dad "What did _I _do?" He asked incredulously

"Well he's obviously punishing you for something you did"

"Yeah, being stuck in a room with you is definitely punishment" Shawn retorted.

Both men stopped when a piece of paper was slid underneath the door. Henry bent down and picked it up "We're not letting you out until you two make up" Henry read "From Gus and Juliet" Henry passed the note over to Shawn to read.

Shawn flipped the note over and found more writing "P.S Lassiter won't help you, he's enjoying the peace and quiet" Shawn rolled his eyes. "Well, if they think this is going to work they're out of their minds" Shawn said out loud. He grabbed a chair and dragged it to the far side of the room. He dropped down into it and folded his arms stubbornly.

"You know it couldn't hurt to talk" Henry suggested after nearly half an hour of completely silence.

Shawn snorted. "you would think so wouldn't you?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Never mind, just forget it"

Henry sighed "Shawn-

"What?" Shawn snapped.

"Can you please just drop the attitude?" Henry asked.

Shawn swiveled the chair around to face Henry "You really think talking is going to solve all this? After everything I have gone through all my life, after all the comments and remarks and being told a million times how disappointed you are in me, you really think having a heart to heart is going to fix all this? We're broken dad, it's not something you can just put back together"

"Not if you don't try"

Shawn's eye's met Henry's "What if I don't want to try?" He asked. "I'm tired dad, I'm so tired of trying to please you and trying to show you that life's not about what you do for your job and If I can't prove that by now then there really is no hope"

"So you're just going to give up huh? Like you did after high school, like you did with every single job-"

"Not this one" Shawn snapped "Not this job"

Henry sighed "You know it wasn't just the job I wanted for you"

"What?"

"I'd seen so many kids living on the streets or families squatting in old buildings and every time I saw it all I could think of was you. I just wanted you to get a job, have a house an a wife and maybe some kids…stability, you know?. I thought that if I pushed you to be a cop then I wouldn't have to worry about you the whole damn time"

"Dad, you didn't just want me to be an cop, you wanted me to be some super cop, I was a kid and you pushed me, forced me to grow up too soon. I just wanted to play dad, have fun, instead I knew police procedures by age eight, passed the detectives exam at fifteen and could shoot a perfect score by seventeen"

"You want me to say it huh? I'm so sorry you had such a terrible childhood Shawn"

Shawn rolled his eyes "Great, guilt trip, just what I need"

Henry took a step forward "You remember when you were five and you spotted a kid your age? He was crying cos some kid had come and thrown his ice lolly in the sand, you remember what you did?"

"I gave him mine"

"Yeah, I knew from that moment that helping people was what you were going to do. You had all the makings of a cop at aged five Shawn, you just didn't realize it. And you still don't. You sill don't realize it but no matter how hard you try and run from it. Being a cop is in your blood son" Shawn shook his head "You think jus because you don't carry a badge or a gun that makes you any less of a cop?"

"I-

"Is wanting the best for you so bad? Is wanting you to be successful wrong?"

"I just want you to be happy for me dad, I just want you to accept me for I am"

"You think I don't?"

"And that stupid reunion you dragged me to? What was that about?"

"I wanted you to meet my friends. You think if I was embarrassed of you I would have shown you off to them?"

Shawn sighed a minute later "Well, I guess this wasn't as painful as I thought it would be"

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying….I'm saying things aren't going to change over night. That there's still so much we have to work through"

"Thirty year's worth" Henry agreed.

"But I'm willing to try" Shawn said finally, looking up to look Henry in the eyes. "Like Gus said, you're family, whether I like it or not"

Henry snorted "Please, you would starve if you couldn't come over to eat all my food, and who else are you gonna borrow digging equipment and metal detectors from?"

"You going to admit how much you like helping on cases?"

"I would if I didn't think you would hold I over my head for the rest of my life" Henry replied.

Shawn nodded "You think Gus will let us out now?" He asked just a second before the tell-tale sound of the door unlocking.

"Guess so" Henry replied, already moving towards the door.

"Hey dad?" Henry stopped and turned back towards Shawn.

I might need a little time, you know"

Henry nodded "Come over for dinner Sunday, that give you plenty of time?" Shawn nodded "Don't even think about bringing Gus as a go-between" Henry warned and Shawn rolled his eyes. "I want you to promise me something Shawn"

Shawn narrowed his eyes at the request "What?"

"When things get tough? Don't run, please don't run"

Shawn nodded "I'll try" Henry nodded back towards the door and pulled it open.

"Hey" Henry began as they both left the room. "You remember who that little kid was? The one you helped?" He asked.

Shawn glanced over at Gus standing at the end of the hallway and smiled "Yeah, I remember"


End file.
